WARNINg: ( just to let who ever is reading this know I’ve decided to blog about my break up, blogging helps me find clearity so be aware you might see a plethora of roller coaster emotions day to day; I pray that this lesson this phase in my life ends with a happy ending, and at the end of this road I am able to love, sing, dance, feel free at ease again)
What I think I’m all emotional about is that I am trying to be truthful with myself something I promised myself when I was leaving from my vacation right before the breakup. I knew something was missing from the relationship. Honestly I was not surprised. I never thought about what it was going to feel like to loose a good friend. I told myself that we could be friends but at the moment I don’t think that is what I want and need.
The more I try to be truthful with myself the more I find myself trying to find things to fill my time. I layed in bed last night talking to God, I turned the internet off I put the books on the side of the bed and just started talking to God. I fell asleep before I noticed, woke up this morning a little sad, because there where questions that arose with my conversation with God. Questions like who is Marie, and what is it that Marie wants out of this life.
Moving on……..
There was this Love that I thought existed it was Magical and now I’m starting to think that maybe I somehow fantasized it all and the Magic wasn’t real it was all my imagination. The thing with Magic is that its on another plane and my tonal (ego) wants to understand and make logic of magic.
Wow I sound screwed up!!!!!!
Is this a early 30’s crisis that I am experiencing Have I lost my marbels?
I think its just life and my mind, body, and spirit just needs some cleansing to do.
