via thingsweforget
So after writing down my fears the other day, I realized if all those fears came to pass, I would still be alive living and for sure still loving, I discovered my will the other day and I realized that it can be weak at times, but it sure is strong most of the time.
Happy Sunday and God bless my friends that are in Santiago, Spain right now.
Love & Happy Feast of St. James ♥
Marie (Bright Light Warrior Nika)
I woke up took a look at my phone it was only 4am in the morning. I checked my email to see if he had emailed me back, no response. The degree between my legs went up in temperature so i reached over and touched him to see if he would respond to my touch. I figured by the third time touching him and no response I might as well bring that temperature down myself; so I did. I got up put on my clothes grabbed my overnight bag and left his apartment I couldn’t sleep and I couldn’t breathe just laying there in the bed.
I found myself at the nearby park walking at 5:55 am. The heat wasn’t too unbearable, it actually felt good on my skin. The rising sun and I connected my feet also connected me with the ground I felt grounded and lifted at the same time. I said a prayer to the Creator with the Creator and with thoughts of my blood family and spiritual family in mind.
On my walk I realized that F.E.A.R has been a major blockade in my life, causing me not to make any decisions, because I have have a fear of this (unknown)happening or this (unknown) not happening
here is a list of the things I have a fear of
1. leaving my job and not being able to support my child in any kind of way
2. getting married and loosing a sense of self, and not being the good wife, not being able to give that husband kids
3. moving back home and falling into that boring routine that everyone does day in an day out, which is the main reason I left home in the first place
4. fear writing and expressing myself from the deepest core within because I don’t want to expose something that might hurt a love one
5. fear of change
6. fear of rejection
7. fear of being homeless
8. fear of not accomplishing my dreams
9. fear of not being nice
10. fear of hurting someone else feelings in making my decisions
Well, I am at my tipping point and I think I will let the tea pot tip and if it spills and makes a mess, or overflows out of the cup then I will have a myself a tea party and go for a swim I’ll just keep in mind to not let myself drown, and also remember there is no rush to try and clean up the tea when it starts to overflow out of the cup, that is why the saucer is there 
Creator of all,
when season start to change
when the tea starts to overflow
when my vision seems to be blurred
when my heart starts to beat out of control
when my path takes a new turn
grant me the courage an ability to
embrace the seasons as they transition into the next for I am connected with nature and need change as well
to watch the tea spill and realize its not the end of the world and remember most messes can be cleaned up take time to enjoy the party and not worry about the mess
to understand that it doesn’t mean I need new glasses but I might just be waking up to a new day
to rejoice that my heart still is at work
while walking this path that there will be turns and mountains, valleys and bodies of water to cross and embrace the path and remember its not about the destination but its about the journey.
Don’t look for faces to make traces, don’t look for humanly love, don’t expect and suspect, let it go and let it grow.
~~
